Wolverine Saves The World, Sorta
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Flare-Aoi
Summary: Complete! The world is in grave danger! Only one person can save humanity from the evils of the Brotherhood and beyond. And boy is Wolverine going to have one hell of an adventure! This is the final Wolverine story! Read and review, faithful fans!
1. Chapter 1

**Story**: Wolverine Saves The World…Sorta.  
**Author**: Master Jin Sonata  
**Written**: August 2010  
**Genre**: Humor/Adventure  
**Rating**: T  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Marvel or its unfortunate hero Logan.

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**Chapter 1: Logan's Mission Mess**

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It was a cold winter morning.

Logan was sleeping in his bed at Xavier's mansion, snoring away without a care in the world.

That was, until someone kicks down his door.

Logan shot up out of his deep sleep and looks around. **"The hell's going on?" **he mumbles.

Scott Summers, the one who burst inside, steps up toward his ally, with an unhappy expression on his face.

"**Logan! We've been trying to call you for the past hour! The world is under attack!"** Scott tells him with much urgency.

Logan yawns. **"What else is new? Now, can I go back to sleep now? Been up all last night drinking…" **Logan responds with an uninspired mumble.

**ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!**

Seconds later, Logan is seen running out of his room like a bat out of hell, with Scott shooting his optic beams at him as he gave chase down the hallway.

"**I'M UP I'M UP! SON OF A BITCH!"** Logan yells as he stops to catch his breath…

…only to release he was standing in front of Professor Xavier…completely naked.

"**Logan…its um…nice to see that you are finally awake…"** said a surprised professor, trying to keep his wandering eyes away from Logan's bare torso.

"**What's this all about, chuck? Why ain't the other X-men saving the world?"** Logan asks, scratching his belly.

"**The other X-men have been deployed already, Logan, and most of them have been captured by the Brotherhood and even the more dangerous villains like Apocalypse. You are our last hope,"** the professor explains to him.

"**So I'm the last hope then, huh? Well, looks like its time to show everyone what the Wolverine can do…so I can get back to bed," **Logan says as he proceeded to go get himself clean and suited up.

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**An Hour Later...**

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After preparing himself, the now fully suited Logan enters the mansion's garage to retrieve his motorcycle.

However…

"**WHERE THE HELL IS MY MOTORCYCLE?"** shouted Logan when he did not see it there.

At that moment, Jubilee ran up to him in response.

"**Oh hey Logan. Um…about your bike…me and Bobby Drake kinda borrowed it earlier for a mission…and he sorta wrecked it…"** Jubilee says to him in a nervous tone.

Logan simple glares at Jubilee; not deciding yet to whether hit her or do something else more drastic.

"**But wait, you can use my ride if you want!"** Jubilee offers, a cheesy smile on her face.

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**Minutes Later...**

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A very grumpy and frustrated Logan exits the garage riding on Jubilee's skateboard. Once he reaches the street, he was not aware of how icy it was.

"**Whoa Whoa WHOA!" **he shouted as his board skids across the slick ground and forces him to tumble down a steep ravine, and hit the bottom with a thud.

Logan sat up after the fall…

**WHACK!**

…only to have the skateboard to clock him on the head from above.

"_**This is gonna be one long day…" **_he mutters.

**End of Chapter 1**

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**Wolverine's final adventure is just getting started! What will happen in the next chapter?**

**Please review and stay tuned!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Hitchin Rides Aren't Fun**

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Logan ditched Jubilee's skateboard after sliding off the icy road and into a ravine seven more times within the span of three minutes. So instead he decides to hoof it until he could get some other ride to his destination. While we walked, he got a call from Professor Xavier.

"_**Logan, this is the professor. How is the mission so far?"**_

"**Slow…I'm just a mile from the mansion,"** Logan responds with a grumble.

_**"I heard what happened about your bike. Unfortunately we don't have any more vehicles to lend, so you will have to find some means of travel, and fast."**_

"**Easier said than done…"** Logan responds before hanging up.

To Logan's luck, an eighteen-wheel truck was approaching him around the bend. He took this opportunity to stop the driver so he could get a ride or hijack it, whichever came first.

"**Hey! Stop right there!" **he yells out, standing out in the middle of the road.

**CRASH!**

The truck's driver apparently doesn't see him as it slams into Logan at full speed.

"**Son of a bitch…hitting me head on like that…"** Logan growled, as he had latched onto the back of truck at the last moment after being run over. He climbs up the back and onto the roof of the truck.

"**Hmph…well, this is better than nothing…"** her states as he held on as the truck sped down the road that lead to the backwoods.

Everything was going smoothly at this point…until a low-clearance bridge approached.

"**What the…?" **Logan said, seeing the bridge at the last second…

**WHAM!**

…and colliding into it as the truck continued on through, leaving Logan to flop onto the road below.

"**Why me?"** Logan said under his breath as he slowly sat up and rubbed his cobblestone-stricken face.

The truck then suddenly stops just up the road.

"**Hmm? Did that driver finally notice me?"** Logan says he got up off the ground again.

The truck then started to back up in reverse, and at full speed right at Logan.

"**The hell?"** Logan said as he dove out of the way from being hit again.

Out from driver seat window was none other than Sabertooth, who laughed at the pleasure of screwing around with his archrival.

"**SABERTOOTH!"** Logan said, extremely pissed, unleashing his claws at the sight of the truck driver's true identity.

"**Hey Wolverine! Want a ride?"** Sabertooth taunted as he then drove away, tires screeching as he left a cloud of dust in Logan's face.

"**GET BACK HERE!"** Logan shouts, spreading both of his arms out in anger and waving them madly in frustration…

**CRACK!**

…which caused him to suddenly clothesline a motorcyclist off of his bike was just driving past Logan.

"…**Okay then…this works," **Logan said in surprise as he quickly commandeers the motorcycle and sped off after Sabertooth, leaving the motorcyclist on the ground in a daze.

**End of Chapter 2**

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**

**Wolverine's adventure is finally off of the ground! What will happen in the next chapter?**

**Please review and stay tuned!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Don't Remember The Titans**

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Logan continues to gives chase to the truck Sabertooth drove. Miles upon miles of swerving through the mountain road, it seem like this chase would take forever t-

**CRASH!**

Sabertooth suddenly loses control of his truck and slams it into a large tree, thus ending the otherwise lengthy chase scene.

Logan slows down and stops at the scene of the accident.

"…**Wow…that ended unexpectedly. Oh well, time to move on,"** Logan says as he takes off away from the crash, not even bothering to see if Sabertooth survived or not.

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**Cement Factory**

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Logan's next destination was a cement factory near the peak of the mountain. As our hero dismounts and walks toward the entrance, he is contact by the professor.

"_**Logan, what is your current status?"**_ Xavier inquires.

"**I ran into Sabertooth earlier, but ditched him back down the mountain. Now at some factory or something,"** Logan responds.

"_**Judging by my GPS, you are near the county's cement and asphalt factory. Proceed with caution; rumor has it this place is operated by a pair of shady individuals,"**_ Xavier explains.

"**Got it, Chuck,"** Logan says as he heads inside.

The interior was dimly lit, making it obviously difficult to see anything. After fumbling around the walls, he finally found a light switch.

As the factory became illuminated, Logan realized he was standing before two giant individuals: The Blob, and Juggernaut.

**"Damn…Chuck wasn't kidding about shady. You two produce more shade than the broad side of a-"**

**Biff! **

**Crash! **

**Pow! **

**Crack! **

**Snap!**

Later when Logan woke, he found himself tied onto s conveyor belt that was heading straight toward a vat of wet cement.

"**Shit…I should lay off the fat jokes…"** Logan muttered to himself.

"**Muahahaha! This is the end for you, Wolverine!"** Blob says to Logan.

"**Yeah, with you soon out of the way Magneto will be able to take over the world without fail!"** Juggernaut adds.

"_**Damn…gotta find a way out of here…"**_ Logan said to himself.

**End of Chapter 3**

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**

**Uh oh, Logan's in trouble! How will he get out of this mess?**

**Please review and stay tuned!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Surprise Pest**

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As our hero Logan lies tied to the conveyer belt of impending doom, he receives another call from Professor Xavier.

_"**Logan, what is your current status? I've not heard from you for hours,"**_ Xavier inquires.

"**Um…let's say I'm about to be stuck in a hard place,"** Logan mutters.

_"**Is that so? Should I send reinforcements?"**_ Xavier asks.

"**Reinforcements? I thought all of the other X-Men were out on other missions? Oh, wait, don't tell me you're gonna send that prissy-boy Scott down here?" **Logan says in disappointment.

_"**No no, he's busy at the moment. In his place…"**_ Xavier says.

Moments later, the factory doors burst open, and in steps Jubilee.

"**Never fear, Logan! Jubilee is here to save you!"** Jubilee calls out in the most heroic voice she could muster.

"**...Oh god, just kill me now…"** Logan said in discontent.

Rushing in to his aid, Jubilee uses her firework powers to cut Logan's binds loose and free him from the conveyer belt.

"**Wow…I can't believe you're actually useful for something,"** Logan says to her in surprise.

"**Damnit! I told you we shouldn't have set the conveyer speed to 'Slow Enough For Wolverine To Be Saved By An Annoying And Near Useless X-Men Character That's Not Named Dazzler!'"** Juggernaut tells the Blob in anger.

Logan and Jubilee then confront the two villains head on.

"**Alright, bubs, you two are going down right now!"** Logan warns them both.

**"Nothing moves the Blob!"** the Blob says to them both.

"…**Really? That cheesy line from the X-Men arcade game?" **Juggernaut says to his partner in disbelief.

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**Minutes Later Due To The Author Having To Go To Bed Early…**

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Both Logan and Jubilee exit out of the factory after defeating both Juggernaut and Blob.

"**Wow Logan, you were awesome back there! We should do this again!"** Jubilee says to him in an exited tone.

"**Okay…that didn't sound right…"** Logan responded. **"Come on, we need to find Magneto and save the world. Think you can handle the danger?"**

"**Give it too me, big boy!"** Jubilee answers.

"…**Why is this happening to me?"** Logan mutters to himself, hands over his face.

**End of Chapter 4**

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**Looks like Wolverine has a new partner!**

**Please review and stay tuned!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: The Ruse**

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Both Logan and Jubilee decide to head back to the mansion to prepare for a long trip to Magneto's hideout. Upon arriving, they head inside via the front entrance, when someone unexpected was floating in front of them…

...It was Magneto.

"**What the hell? What are you doing in our mansion, Erik,"** Logan demands as he unleashed his claws in response.

"**Muahahaha! I am here to kidnap the professor, and steal Cerebro for my evil plans, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!"** Magneto taunts him.

"**Oh no, we've got to stop him!"** jubilee says with a gasp.

"**Step aside kiddo, I'll handle this,"** Logan tells her, as he then proceeds to dive towards his enemy…

**WHAAAMMMM!**

…only to go right through him and slam into the wall behind him.

After sliding down onto the ground, Logan shakes his head and looks up.

"**What the…a…hologram…? What is going on here!"** Logan said with a frustrated growl.

No sooner had he said that, all of the X-Men members sudden emerge from around the mansion, all of them laughing hysterically. Jubilee and even the professor seemed to in on this scheme.

"**Man you blew it, Logan! You are so easy!"** Iceman says to him in between laughs.

"**See, I told you this phony mission to save the world would prove to be a laugh riot,"** Cyclops said with a big grin.

"**My face hurts from all the comedy we watched from the time he left the mansion this morning,"** Storm comments.

Logan sat there looking dumfounded at the apparent joke everyone had played on him.

"…**What….the….fuck…?"** he said, anger rising.

"**Just poking some fun at you, Logan. Come on, cheer up,"** Professor Xavier says to him.

Logan didn't find this whole ordeal really amusing….

…in the end, he spent the next twenty-four hours going on a complete berserker rampage all over the mansion beating the tar out of all the members who took park in this prank to make him look like a complete jackass.

That would be the last time he would take up any missions from them for a long time.

**This concludes all fanfics involving Wolverine as the lead character!**

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**End of Chapter 5**

**The End! Please review, and thanks for reading! Please be sure to check out my previous X-Men fics!**


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